BWUH?

IMDB: "Bonham Carter Caught Up in Baby Confusion"

"Actress Helena Bonham Carter was left baffled yesterday morning when news spread across America that she'd given birth over the weekend - eight months after her first child actually arrived. Reports on the Planet Of The Apes star currently grace the pages of a number of the nation's respected publications - including USA Today, the Washington Post and the Miami Herald - stating that she and director Tim Burton welcomed their first child into the world on Saturday. But Billy Ray was actually born in October, and her representatives in London insist she's not conceived another child since giving birth. A spokesperson says, 'The only child she gave birth to was in October, 2003.' It has yet to be revealed exactly how the mix-up occurred."

Wait, wait, wait... Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter named their kid... Billy Ray?

THE LITTLEST ACADEMY MEMBER

AMPAS has put out a list of the 127 invitees to join the Academy. The fun part is, it doesn't say who's accepted the invite (Sofia Coppola, for example, has to chose between joining the Writers or the Directors branch). Notable names: Shohreh Aghdashloo, Paul Bettany, Patricia Clarkson, Hope Davis, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Scarlett Johansson, Viggo Mortensen, Bill Nighy, Sean Penn, Audrey Tautou, Ken Watanabe, Treat Williams, Brad Bird, Miguel Arteta, Gurinder Chadha, Fernando Meirelles, and the Littlest Academy Member, Keisha Castle-Hughes. Yay! (Thanks to texta on JF for the link.)

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

Apparently that's the name of book 6, according to a hidden image on jkrowling.com. Hit the link up there to the Leaky Cauldron for more.

ETA: CNN confirms it.

Also, from the news section of jkrowling.com: apparently the "half blood prince" is neither Harry nor Voldemort, but there's a reason she was considering that title for Chamber of Secrets--there are apparently a lot of clues there as to the end of the series, and more that she decided to save for book 6.

THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE

Whee! Coming Soon:

"The first scene in CS Lewis's 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' is being shot today at the old Hobsonville Air Base. Kiwi director Andrew Adamson, famous for his work on Shrek 2, has been put in charge of the multi-million dollar production.

Movie publicist, Ernie Malik, says they are holding back on announcing who the four main child actors are until filming is well underway. But he says they will be involved today in shooting the first scenes from the book.

Filming of the C.S. Lewis classic will be done in Auckland until mid-October, when the production will move to the South Island. Filming is expected to take six months to complete.

- The set shown is being used for the filming of the film's opening sequence of a London train station. A train was there, there were World War II posters all over the walls, etc.

- The three confirmed leads of the film are Tilda Swinton, Dawn French and Rupert Everett. Many familiar New Zealanders have been cast but that's a secret at the moment."

HEIL FANTANAS!

Eric has uncovered the secret, sinister past of Fanta soda. Oh, Kiki, how could you?

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

Latest rumor ("...is in negotiations..."): Ralph Fiennes for Voldemort. Let me say that again, in case you didn't hear me the first time: RALPH FIENNES. FOR VOLDEMORT. OMG OMG OMG.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

I know we were trying to figure out whether GOF was filming yet or not over on my POA review--well, it is. A quick rundown of new cast members:

Moody: Brendan Gleeson
Cedric Diggory: Robert Pattinson
Viktor Krum: Stanislav Ianevski
Fleur Delacour: Clemence Poesy
Cho Chang: Katie Leung
Madame Maxime: Frances de la Tour
Barty Crouch: Roger Lloyd-Pack
Karkaroff: Pedja Bjelac
Amos Diggory: Jeff Rawle
Barty Crouch, Jr.: David Tennant

Additionally: "Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Tom Felton once again reprise the roles of Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and their archrival Draco Malfoy, respectively. In the roles of fellow Hogwarts students are Matthew Lewis as Neville; Devon Murray as Seamus; Jamie Waylett as Crabbe; Joshua Herdman as Goyle; Alfie Enoch as Dean; Oliver and James Phelps as Fred and George Weasley; and Chris Rankin as Percy.

"Returning to the adult ensemble are Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid; Michael Gambon as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore; Robert Hardy as Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge; Shirley Henderson as Moaning Myrtle; Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy; Gary Oldman as Sirius Black; Alan Rickman as Professor Snape; Dame Maggie Smith as Professor McGonagall; Timothy Spall as Peter Pettigrew; and Mark Williams as Arthur Weasley."

Mike Newell, he of the eclectic CV, directs.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

New teaser trailer up at Moviefone.

CLEOLINDA.COM

Well, since LiveJournal is down, I'm working on cleolinda.com some more. The new SAST banner looks like this:



For those of you who have been wondering, the official face of SAST (and the Digest) is Frances Farmer. Not like, me, or anything.

SPIDER-MAN 2

Here's how out of it I've been for the last few weeks: Is Spider-Man opening this weekend? I don't even know. USAToday is all up in the Spidey Kool-Aid, though.

FANTASTIC FOUR

Nothing's set in stone yet, but it looks like Michael Chiklis will play The Thing.

SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW

I won't be able to watch it for a while, so my Park rangers need to jump on the new trailer for this.

"EXPERTS STUDYING INTERNET ATTACK"

So THIS is why I can't get on LiveJournal. Dammit.

As for me, I've been sick (again) this week, and trying to get all my ducks in a row. However, a rough version of cleolinda.com is now online--it's basically a portal for all the stuff I run, although a few things--like Trailer Park and Writer Girls--aren't on there yet.

CHARGRILLED AND FLAME-BROILED

I asked people to share flames--negative feedback of the bizarre and pointless kind, such as the "you're an idiot, fag" comment I got today--that they'd received, and janegraddell ponied up a beaut. Seriously, it's so awesome.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

To be fair, the comic ran on May 24, and is a lovely visual companion to "Troy in Fifteen Minutes." Thanks to Mr. Typo for the link.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

It's just a rumor at the moment, but--Bill Nighy (Underworld, Love Actually) for Voldemort? I like muchly.

"ROWLING ENDS POTTER AFTER DISCOVERING BOYS"

Heeee! The Onion: "Friends of Rowling say her increasing interest in boys first became obvious during the 2003 release of her series' fifth installment, Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix. At book signings, Rowling often had her longtime friend Mindy Harrison pass notes to cute boys in line. But according to Harrison, the author would blush and be unable to speak whenever one approached her.

"In fact, sources say delays on Phoenix stemmed from Rowling's unrequited infatuation with Randy Powell, winner of the PEN Center USA West Award for Children's Literature. 'She had such a big crush on him, it was crazy,' Harrison said. 'She'd call his house and hang up. She'd draw pictures for him, but never send them. If she wasn't looking him up online, she was talking about him endlessly. She finally got the courage to e-mail him, but he never responded. I don't think I've ever seen her so depressed. The only reason she finished Order Of The Phoenix was because she knew it would outsell all his books put together.'

"Many of Rowling's fans disapprove of the author's decision to quit writing the Harry Potter series. Some here also complained about the amount of makeup Rowling has begun to wear, her choice of friends, and her recent decision to get her belly button pierced.

"'I can't believe she would give up something she worked so hard on, just because people might think it's not 'cool,'' said Nancy Listrom, a Boston resident and fan of the Harry Potter books. 'I blame that Mindy girl. She's a bad influence.'

"Added Listrom: 'And I can't believe her publicist allows her to show up at a bookstore appearance dressed in that pink skirt. It barely covers her butt.'"

REE! REE! REE!

This is the creepiest doll I have seen in my entire life. No, I mean it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to wake up and find this one sitting on my chest drooling on me one night. AHHH.

JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE IMDB

Okay, so:

"Affleck "Stunned" by J.Lo Wedding"

As was the rest of the known universe. Next:

"Crowe Branded 'Super-Diva' by Angry Crew"

Yes, yes, could have told you that myself. Next:

"Andy Dick Pleads Not Guilty to Drug Charge"

All's right with the world. Next:

Larry Hagman on refusing transplants: "I'm 72-years-old and I don't want to deprive somebody of a new liver just because I'm greedy."

Aww, that's nice. Poor guy.

Then, same article: "I am not afraid of death. I had taken LSD 40 years ago and I had ego death. That took the fear of death away."

Say what?

WOOHOO!

I went in to fix the html on that last post (people, when I mess up the headers, tell me, okay?), and... guess what? That was post #1999. Right now? 2000.

So let's talk a little about what's going on around here. Crazy things are going on, that's what. I have a ton of sites that I'm not updating, because things are so very, very crazy. However, they are (apparently) crazy in a good way. Assuming I ever get off my stunned ass to deal with them, exciting things should be happening around Cleoland. Such as me actually profiting from my writing. Go me!

HELLO, IT'S NON SEQUITUR TIME!

And no one does them better than Christopher Walken, over on the Popbitch newsletter. I have no idea what the context of this is, but it's a beautiful thing to open a newsletter email and see at the very top:

"I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS." - Christopher Walken

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

1. EEEEEE! Narnia Narnia Narnia!

2. Hey... the White Witch... isn't... very white, costume-wise...

IT'S AN ELF REUNION AND YOU'RE INVITED!

The good news: Hugo Weaving has joined the Cate Blanchett/Martin Henderson drama Little Fish.

The bad news: Weaving "play a swagging hero in a new Jackie Chan vehicle called The Myth. An adventure film in the vein of "Indiana Jones", the film sees Chan playing an archeologist-for-hire (in that he's enlisted by every company and their dog the moment they want something recovered) who is enlisted to track down the Tomb of the Chin Dynasty."

1. What the hell is a "swagging hero"?

2. Oh, honey. Not a Jackie Chan. Anything but a Jackie Chan. Please don't make me go see this. I'm begging you...

OMGWTFCOCO

I think Courtney Cox Arquette just had herself a little porn star.

VANITY FAIR

Holy shit, look at her hair.

This is going to be the movie of the year for costume whores.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

Interesting--with the Cedric Diggory casting announced earlier today, Newsround has dug up a picture of the actor, Robert Pattinson. Good looking kid, by the way. (Thanks to malenky_devil on LJ for the link.)

JORDAN POTTER?

So, have you heard the story about the girl who decided she was a (male) reincarnation of Elijah Wood (I think--pardon me if I don't have the details completely straight), renamed herself Jordan Wood, took the LOTR fandom for a ride to the tune of several thousand dollars, and "died" several times in the course of his/her deceptions? And now has turned up in a Yahoo News photograph professionally impersonating Harry Potter outside the Chinese Theater? Yeah. Go to the link in the heading for the whole saga.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

In an email I just got from collectiblestoday.com: "This Seraphim Classics collectible figurine [is] designed by Gaylord Ho, Master Sculptor of the Seraphim Classics Collection."

Gaylord. Ho.

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN IN FIFTEEN MINUTES

Care of Magical Creatures Class

DRACO: OUTTA MY WAY, PLEBE, IT’S MY TURN ON THE HORSYBIRD!

BUCKBEAK: *administers a two-hoof beatdown*

DRACO: *cries for Daddy*

HAGRID: Lord. Tell Madam Pomfrey to pull out the smelling salts, I gotta bear Miss Malfoy here off to the fainting couch.

DRACO: Faster, plebe! I do believe I have the vapors!

WANTED: MOVIE REVIEWS

All right. I keep asking for movie reviews, and then people give them to me, and I lose them and stuff. So I've set up a Livejournal community for movie reviews, each of which will be mentioned on the site. If you want to review--and you have a Livejournal, or you go get one--read the entry at the link above and leave me a comment solemnly swearing to follow the format guidelines, and stuff, and I'll approve you for membership.

Basically, I figure a few basic format requirements will scare off the people who cannot (or will not) spell, so really, once you've formatted it properly, I don't care what you say--jump in.

REVIEW: HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Sorry, I've dropped off the face of the earth again for a couple of days--yesterday was given over to a hair cut, a movie, and mourning the disappearance of my internet for about 16 hours. But I managed to write this:

"The best way I can describe the difference between Chris Columbus and Alfonso Cuarón as directors is that it's like dancing. You're dancing with this one guy, and he knows all the steps, but you can tell it was a lot of work for him to memorize them, and you keep hearing him mutter, 'One-two-three, one-two-three...' the whole time. Then you're dancing with this other guy, and he's so good at what he does that you're not conscious of anything else but music and motion.

"Alfonso Cuarón is that second guy. "


I'm working on "Harry Potter in Fifteen Minutes," but it's damn hard considering that the movie is 1) good and 2) already intentionally funny.

ELIZABETH -II- 2

AHHHH! Coming Soon: "Aussie's The Daily Telegraph spoke to Elizabeth director Shekhar Kapur who says that he is working on a sequel to the 1998 Cate Blanchett drama.

Blanchett is expected to take the throne again and star in the epic - based on Queen Elizabeth I - which has the working title of Golden Age. 'It is about the battle between her life as a monarch and her personal life,' Kapur said. 'It ends in the destruction of the Spanish Armada on the larger level.'

The Indian-born Kapur said the script, which Michael Hirst is working on, would be ready in six months. 'And then it depends on Cate's schedule and my schedule as to when we start shooting.'"

I am so excited.

MOVIES IN FIFTEEN MINUTES

Aight. So. I broke Livejournal, and stuff. So now I've set up a Movies in Fifteen Minutes community in which only I can post, but still has a lot more room for people to friend/join, and all the Fifteen Minutes are now archived there. I will continue to post announcements here and on my cleolinda.livejournal.com journal, and people are more than welcome to continue friending that journal. It's just that I can't friend anyone else back.

Also, The Lovely Emily and I just purchased tickets for Harry Potter on Friday night. Woot.