Short Attention Span Theater

Short Attention Span Theater
Movies, mayhem and more: A blog from Cleolinda Jones, writer, grad student, space cadet, editor of (That's Miss Cleo if you're SAST-Y.)

Saturday, January 31, 2004  


No one's sure how he is at the moment, but apparently Alex Trebek fell asleep at the wheel, sideswiped a few rural mailboxes, sailed forty feet over an embankment into a ditch, and "escaped injury."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 5:47 PM


Well, now we know why Jim Carrey was bald at the Golden Globes.

Interestingly, Jude Law is described as providing the voice of Lemony Snicket, not (necessarily?) showing up in person. Awww.

P.S. I'm looking for a good Lemony Snicket fansite/affiliate, if anyone knows of one. Comment below.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:41 PM

Friday, January 30, 2004  


You know, it's bad enough that the SciFi Channel will finally cease airing MST3K reruns after tomorrow. It's even worse that the last episode isn't even the official last episode, "Danger: Diabolik," but "The Screaming Skull." I mean, it's pretty good, and at least it's not the "Hamlet" that always puts me to sleep, but...sigh.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:21 PM


Remind me never to blow off VF again just because Gwyneth is on the cover. I finally got around to reading the Feb. issue today, more than a week after I got it in the mail, and it turns out there's a photo essay on The Aviator. Thrill! to the sight of Kate Beckinsale looking very much like Katharine Hepburn! What's that, you say? She's not the one playing Hepburn? Chill! in the presence of Jude Law looking tasty! Spill! your lunch at the spectacle of Leonardo DiCaprio smarming on Cate Blanchett!

Man, I hope Howard Hughes doesn't end up dumping Katharine Hepburn in this movie. If I got dumped by Leonardo DiCaprio, I would kick him in the nuts. In fact, I would probably kick him in the nuts regardless, just to hear him squeak.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 5:52 PM


Russell Crowe has been injured on the set of Cinderella Man. Producer Brian Grazer: "I've never known any actor who dedicates himself to a part with more intensity than Russell. He approaches every role with a rigorous discipline, using his mind, his body and his spirit. To prepare for his role as Jim Braddock, Russell has been training with some of the foremost boxing instructors in the world, and that commitment is what led to the injury to his shoulder. Also, it may have had something to do with his residual resentment at starring in a movie with such a girly name. Please don't take your anger out on me again, Russell, I'm begging you--I haven't been able to eat for three days now, and my kids are starting to ask why Daddy's skin is turning purple."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 12:08 PM


I don't care if it is India rubber in a jar of formaldehyde--the picture is awesome: a "preserved" baby dragon.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:33 AM

TOYS! has pictures of The Incredibles, Shrek 2, and Van Helsing toys from UK Toy Fair 2004. And remember: "Some may even be considered spoiler material!" Because seriously, y'all, I didn't want to know that the Dracula monster's hair was going to be that bad until I saw the movie.

Update: Behold! The Official Shirtless Doll of Will Kemp.Org!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:24 AM


Latino Review has a very positive script review. In fact, I believe the phrase "very dope" appears in regards to the Caped Crusader.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:22 AM

Thursday, January 29, 2004  


News is up. I am tired. Got some breaking news on the Superman casting insani...zzzzzzzzzzzz.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:43 PM


The Watley Review: "The United Nations announced yesterday that the kingdom of Gondor has officially been granted member status effective February 1, 2004.

'We are very excited about bringing this stalwart nation into the fold,' said Secretary General Kofi Annan. 'I think this is a great day, not just for Gondor, but for all nations.'

Some member states objected to the admission of Gondor on the grounds that it is not a real country. Annan brushed aside these concerns.

'Come on now,' he replied. 'Neither is Luxembourg, but we let them in.' "

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:05 PM


Life has been so much easier ever since I set up autocorrect to change "Tad!" into "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!"

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:56 PM


You know, it doesn't even bother me so much that Michael Jackson (allegedly) snookered kids with wine. I mean, hey, if we're talking about child molesting, well, that's par for the course. (Well, it's not that it doesn't "bother" me; "surprise" might be a better word.) What really freaks me out is that he told the kids it was Jesus blood. That, or "Jesus juice," and I don't even want to know, man.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:49 PM


Well, if it's anything like my mother, it's ageing but sprightly, slightly arthritic, forgets what you said the moment you finish talking, and likes Barry Manilow. This would still make a better movie than what I saw in that trailer.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:40 PM


Superhero Hype: "Seems that McG had decided he wanted to go with Beyonce, nothing official had been signed at that point, HOWEVER, agents of other actresses that were up for the part, their agencies, a few secretaries and assistants here and there all heard that the part was no longer available and was going to Beyonce. THAT is no longer the case today. Today, according to a plethora of sources, the part of Lois Lane is WIDE-OPEN and the line being spread was that Beyonce was, of course, never going to be Lois Lane...

We'll see what happens, but it still looks like Johnny Depp is being eyed for Lex Luthor. Stay tuned!"

My interpretation of this is, at least a few folks at the studio keep an eye on the internet, and when it burst into flame yesterday at the bare suggestion of Beyonce playing Lois Lane, they began to backtrack like mofos. The general response to the Depp rumor, from what I saw was, "Ehhhh... I don't know... you could find someone more suitable, but I guess The Depp can do anything, so..."

Hmm. (Puts tinhat on.) You think this was all a plot to get us to go, "Wow, after that Beyonce rumor, the Johnny Depp thing seems downright sane"? People, people: you know that old line of Chris Rock's about how "ain't nobody got to sell crack! Crack sells itself!" Well, replace "crack" with "Johnny Depp" and there you go.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:38 PM


Pixar CEO Steve Jobs (yes, that Steve Jobs): "After ten months of trying to strike a deal with Disney, we're moving on. We've had a great run together -- one of the most successful in Hollywood history -- and it's a shame that Disney won't be participating in Pixar's future successes."

Wow. This so sounds like Peter Jackson thanking Harvey Weinstein at the Globes. "Hey, thanks for the early support, man. Too bad you weren't there when we really started to rock 'n' roll. SUCKAHHHHHH." I don't know what Disney refused to offer Pixar, but personally, I would have been down there with the moon and several firstborns on a platter. Let's all take a minute and imagine the bidding war that's about to start among other studios.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:32 PM


If Jo Roth can keep his promise to keep the show down to "a manageable 3-1/2 hours" and I can work out an alternate setup for my computer and TV (and it looks like I just might), I just... might... do another live play-by-play (hereafter known as the PBP). (Does this mean I'm going to have to sit up the night before like Bruce Villanch and think of possible jokes to use just in case?)

In fact, I am thinking about buying a premium TagBoard account, which means that the board would self-refresh, and there wouldn't be any of this refreshing to see if someone's said anything. (Trust me, if you thought it was annoying, imagine what it was like for me to type with one hand and refresh with the other.) It's $20. If anyone wants to put a dollar in the tip jar, so to speak, and enough people do, we could probably raise enough pretty quickly.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:11 PM


Director Stephen Sommers in SFX magazine: "The title character's first name will be Gabriel rather than the famous Abraham - 'I think of him as Van Helsing's younger brother. For one thing, I dont like the name Abraham. I can't name my lead character Abraham. That isnt going to cut it.'"

Oh, well then, we have to change the name of a literary character that's more than 100 years old, don't we? God. I'd hate to see this guy in charge of something like Superman: "Lois just doesn't cut it. We're changing her name to... Madison!"

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:26 AM

Wednesday, January 28, 2004  


Harry at AICN: "Last night, I got on the phone with a friend of mine that sweeps up around the Warner Lot and is 100% reliable, and I was asking my typical questions, like... How Bad Is Catwoman Going To Suck? and he would laugh and say that it is a freight train of shit without brakes. And on a lark I said, 'Heard anything about SUPERMAN?' And there was silence.


I heard a cough, 'Well, it ain't Selma Blair anymore.' I expressed my utter disappointment, and countered with asking who it was, 'Beyonce Knowles.' I was kinda silent for a bit. 'Have you heard who's playing Lex Luthor?' he asked me. 'No' -- That's when he says, 'Johnny Depp.' "

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:50 PM


It's not the arrest that's news, really. It's the mugshot. Good Lord.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:44 PM


All right, I don't know if Greg Vaughn/Gregg Vaughn/Greg Vaughan/Gregg Vaughan is The Guy in the Dentyne Ice commercial in the subway with the girl who writes her number in the frost she creates from a lovely puff of Dentyne Ice-d breath. But I now have evidence that he was in A Dentyne Ice commercial (something about a car wash? Johnny Knoxville may also have been in it?), and therefore it stands to reason that he could have been in the subway commercial. In fact, after playing the commercial again at the Dentyne site and checking a Greggg Vaughahgghahn gallery on a tip from Mr. Typo, I think we have a positive ID.

The song in the commercial, which I love, is Papas Fritas' "Way You Walk," and you can hear it here. And for the love of God, if you know the actress's name, please let me know, because there are THOUSANDS of people still trying to figure out who she is. Mostly because they want her haircut. And I first saw this commercial a year ago.

Bonus: "The long-legged blond beauty in the 2000 Arctic Chill™ Pool Hall commercial is supermodel Anna Hickman. She has appeared in numerous magazines and is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the model with the longest legs in the world." Because thousands of people are still trying to figure that one out, too. The Daily Digest: Don't ever say we never did nothin' for ye.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:08 PM


If anyone's interested, there are several interesting shots from the missing Saruman scene at a Spanish LOTR site (title link). I've translated the photo captions at LOTR News as well.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:19 PM


Not to be confused with Kingdom of Heaven or The Ring, this one's based on Wagner's Ring cycle opera, which in turn is said to be partly an inspiration for... Lord of the Rings. Are you confused yet? has pictures, and it's from the folks who brought you Mists of Avalon, so it's good enough for me.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:44 AM

Tuesday, January 27, 2004  


Coming Soon: "Between speeches on Iraq, Afghanistan or the Middle East, the United Nations probably will allow director Sydney Pollack to film The Interpreter on its premises, says Reuters.

Chile's U.N. ambassador, this month's Security Council president, said on Tuesday he was asked by a senior U.N. official for his consent. He said the only query in the 15-member council came from his Spanish colleague, Ambassador Inocencio Arias, who wondered how one became an extra.

The film will star Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn. Kidman will play a Kenyan-born U.N. interpreter who overhears an assassination plot, becomes a target herself and helps stop the killing of an African leader addressing the U.N. General Assembly.

The United Nations usually turns down feature filming on its premises, and staff could not recall when the body last gave permission."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:26 PM


And the best part is, I was able to get my Golden Globes column back up! So you can see exactly how lame my predictions were!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:05 PM


You know, I have thought about Nicole Kidman's dress long and hard, because the inexplicable crapitude of that gown really messes with my belief in an ordered universe. But I think I've figured it out. Clearly she lost some sort of Rumplestiltskin-esque bet and was forced to either give up her firstborn child or wear this dress. That's the only thing that would induce me to wear it, anyway.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:09 PM


Is it just me, or is this a very "Padme at the lake house" dress?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:03 PM


Of course I wasn't the only one writing a play-by-play of the Globes:

CHUD: "9:06pm, est - A comment to women out there reading: Please sleep with some of the CHUD message boards guys. They are currently saying they'll 'tap' everyone with even half a uterus on the Golden Globes ceremony broadcast. Please 'tap' them. I think it'd do them good. That way way we don't have guys sexually aroused over the likes of Diane Keaton reading this site. We'll all benefit."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 5:51 PM


I don't know who started this "Fernando Mereia" misspelling in the Best Director category, but it's "Meirelles," and once it got started, I must have used it at least three times. Gahhh, misspelling burns! It freezes!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 5:09 PM


IMDB: "Pitt Tried To Stifle Roberts' Moder Attraction"

"Actor Brad Pitt reportedly warned Julia Roberts not to pursue her now- husband Danny Moder when she first laid eyes on him, because she was still dating her former fiance Benjamin Bratt. [Not to mention that Moder was married himself.] The actress was immediately attracted to the cameraman when she spotted him strolling topless across the set of the 2001 movie The Mexican - in which she co-starred with Pitt - according to James Spada's biography Julia. Roberts and Pitt were relaxing in between takes when she allegedly asked the hunky actor, 'Who's that young hunk of burning love?' Startled Pitt scolded her, saying, 'Now, you be a good girl or I'm gonna tell on you,' before Roberts replied, 'Honey, someone needs to strip that boy down and bring him to my trailer.' According to Spada, who has failed in his bid to elicit a response from Roberts about the books and her reported comments, it was Danny's toned body that attracted her. He says, 'A friend told me Julia loves the six-pack ab thing.' "

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:48 AM


I'm sure you've all gone and found out for yourselves at this point, but a little Boo has told me that the Best Picture category did not appear on the entry earlier. So:

Best Picture

'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King' (New Line)
A Wingnut Films Production
Barrie M. Osborne, Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh, Producers

'Lost in Translation' (Focus Features)
An American Zoetrope/Elemental Films Production
Ross Katz and Sofia Coppola, Producers

'Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World' (20th Century Fox)
A 20th Century Fox and Universal Pictures and Miramax Films Production
Samuel Goldwyn, Jr., Peter Weir and Duncan Henderson, Producers

'Mystic River' (Warner Bros.)
A Warner Bros. Pictures Production
Robert Lorenz, Judie G. Hoyt and Clint Eastwood, Producers

'Seabiscuit' (Universal/DreamWorks/Spyglass)
A Universal Pictures/DreamWorks Pictures Production
Nominees to be determined (i.e., you can only nominate three producers, and those haven't been determined yet)

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:33 AM


Just got an interesting Cinefex article in their newsletter--find out how the final three nominees this morning were culled from a group of seven that didn't even include the Matrix sequels.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:19 AM


...and more pictures of Johnny Depp's next movie as well.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:26 AM


More pictures--mostly of Ioan Gruffudd (Lancelot?), I think.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:25 AM


Well, fabulous. I just finished my Oscar nom column--and saved it over last night's Golden Globe column. Which I have no backup of. Excuse me while I go kick something.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:22 AM


Keisha Castle-Hughes! Samantha Morton! Djimon Hounsou! That actress in House of Sand and Fog whose name I can't spell! (Huge applause for Johnny Depp.) Wow, the guy from City of God got a Best Director nom? Seabiscuit instead of Cold Mountain! (Audible gasp in the audience.)

Also: no Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, or Tom Cruise.

The Cold Mountain thing doesn't surprise me at all. What surprises me are the Dirty Pretty Things noms and the supporting categories. Pleasantly surprised, but still--whoa.

Snaffled from Oscar Watch (update: it's a good thing I went back and proofread!):

Fernando Mereia
Peter Jackson
Sofia Coppola
Peter Weir
Clint Eastwood

Best Actor
Johnny Depp
Ben Kingsley
Jude Law
Bill Murray
Sean Penn

Best Actress
Keisha Castle-Hughes
Diane Keaton
Samantha Morton
Charlize Theron
Naomi Watts

Supporting Actor
Alec Baldwin
Benicio Del Toro
Djimon Honsou
Tim Robbins
Ken Watanabe

Supporting Actress
Shohreh Aghdashloo
Patricia Clarkson
Marcia Gay Harden
Holly Hunter
Renee Zellweger

Original Screenplay
Barbarian Invasions
Dirty Pretty Things
Finding Nemo
In America
Lost in Translation

Adapted Screenplay
American Splendor
City of God
Mystic River

Barbarian Invasions
Twilight Samurai
Twin Sisters

Brother Bear
Finding Nemo
Triplets of Belleville

Full list here. I haven't done all the math yet, but they're saying that ROTK has eleven total, and it looks like Cold Mountain has almost totally wiped out. Update: Sasha's done the math.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 5:43 AM

Monday, January 26, 2004  


Because I'm insane: some very sketchy predictions for the nominations tomorrow morning.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:46 PM


Latino Review: "VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, January 26, 2004 – Actress Halle Berry was taken to hospital on Saturday night (January 24) after being involved in a minor accident on the Vancouver set of Catwoman. As it is customary while in production, Ms. Berry was transported to a local Vancouver hospital where she was treated and released. Ms. Berry resumed work on the Warner Bros. Pictures/Village Roadshow production this morning as scheduled."

Clearly, that asstastic suit is also a health hazard.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:32 PM


So... apparently Ron and Hermione hug in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The book, I mean. Which is my favorite of the series. The fact that I only vaguely remember this part ought to tell you how very earthshaking it is. And now there's a petition up urging Alfonso Cuarón to keep it in the movie. Because Lord knows, it's not important that he make the best movie possible, but stick as slavishly to the details as Chris Columbus did.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:29 PM


Just a reminder that the nominations are coming out tomorrow morning at 5:30 LA time (7:30 my time, 8:30 EST, and... hmmm... I think that's 1:30 pm for you British folks?). I'm going to try to post predictions (admit it, that's a lot harder than picking a winner. More time consuming, too) and post a Globes wrap-up when I come back from class tonight. In fact, I may be able to get a fashion review in. Which means there will be no regular Newstracker update because, quite frankly, I have class and a crick in my neck. Ow.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:00 PM


Dear Nicole Kidman,

Even Peter Jackson's wife looked better than you. Honey, flesh mesh--no. It's not too late to get help.



P.S. I hear Steven Cojocaru is busy getting invaded. Don't bother with him.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:18 PM


I predict a Gigli sweep.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:14 PM


Correspondent Vladimir is up to Part 4 of his Gothenburg Film Festival Coverage--he's getting to see lots of foreign films but I believe he got to see Pieces of April and Touching the Void as well.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:13 PM


1. I'm supposed to believe that Angelina Jolie (picture) could actually be Colin Farrell's mother?

2. How'd they get around Farrell's Irish accent? By having lots of people speak with Irish accents. In Macedonia. Right.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:29 AM


Nope. Still sounds like a bad idea. Run, Scorsese, run.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:20 AM


Darren Aronofsky. Brad Pitt. Cate Blanchett. Is it back on?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:18 AM


My mother is so excited about this movie--she loves disaster flicks--and Coming Soon has new pictures.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:18 AM

Sunday, January 25, 2004  


So: Nicole Kidman wore the most awful flesh-mesh gold-lame flapper outfit ever; Elijah Wood wore green velvet; I wore an old black t-shirt, was overly dismissive of Something's Gotta Give, and it came back to bite me in the ass.

Best Film (Drama): Return of the King
Best Film (Comedy): Lost in Translation
Best Director: Peter Jackson, Return of the King
Best Actor (D): Sean Penn, Mystic River
Best Actress (D): Charlize Theron, Monster
Best Actor (C): Bill Murray, Lost in Translation
Best Actress (C): Diane Keaton, Something's Gotta Give
Best S. Actor: Tim Robbins, Mystic River
Best S. Actress: Renee Zellweger, Cold Mountain
Best Screenplay: Lost in Translation
Best Score: Howard Shore, Return of the King
Best Song: Howard Shore & Fran Walsh, "Into the West," Return of the King
Best Foreign Language Film: Osama

Oh, and Angels in America took home a truckload--best TV movie/miniseries, and all the movie/miniseries acting awards (Meryl Streep, Mary-Louise Parker, Jeffrey Wright, Al Pacino).

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:11 PM


All right, we're gearing up towards the show tonight. Pretty much nothing has happened so far, but I suspect that people will start arriving on the carpet at 5 pm (Central Standard), which is when I'll start enduring the Crone & Melicious Show. Six pm is the NBC red carpet, and seven is the show itself. We've got a tagboard up on the play-by-play page, which is where I'll post "refresh now" alerts.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:27 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2004  


If this is wrong... I don't want to be right.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:51 PM


All right, I've added links to Inky's and Brassy's predictions on the page with mine, the play-by-play page is up for this year--and the tagboard is installed. I would highly suggest that you have this page open in two windows tomorrow--one for the board itself, and one you refresh to see the latest, because that will be at the bottom of the page.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:31 PM


You know how awesome Correspondent Vladimir is? Not only is he Neil Gaiman's Croatian translator, but now he's a juror in a Swedish film festival. (Or rather, a film festival in Sweden, not a festival of Swedish films. V. different things.) His first two reports are up on his blog, and the first movie: the documentary Spellbound.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 12:17 PM


Latino Review: "A leaked footage from STAR WARS: EPISODE III is now online [hit the link above] and scooper 'Someone Who Wants Natalie Portman to Embrace His Dark Side' writes to tell us what he saw:

I am in aftershock from what I've just seen. Star Wars fans can raise their hands in joy or shove 'em down their pants because the climactic battle is the real deal. Someone posted a link with a video from an event called Euro Con. It's a Lucas Film promo reel set to AC/DC's 'Back in Black'. It has shots of them building the sets in Australia, the characters in full costume, and unbelievably--the final duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin against the green screen backdrop. Sweet Mary, it is unholy its so awesome. I'm talking about Obi-Wan and Anakin opening a barrel of light saber whoop ass. The look of fury on Obi-Wan's face as he tears into Anakin will send shivers down your spine. They are leaping into the air, falling down a huge green screen incline, and engaging in quite possibly the greatest sword choreography I've ever scene. Can you imagine how incredible the fight will look with the CGI FX and soaring accompaniment? Even if the movie sucks the dirt off my shoe, which it won't, seeing this footage completed has me yearning for a time machine. I cannot wait until next May. The boys from Lucas Film are going out with a nuclear explosion of a finale."

All I'm going to say is, any time I encounter writing this florid, my first thought is "studio plant." But these days I have to remind myself, Lord of the Rings lived up to the advance hysteria, so anything is possible. What I saw was not "the greatest sword choreography I've ever scene [sic]," but it is very intricate and very well done.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:28 AM


I don't know if the page is going to be the same this year, but here's our existing information, if you'd like to join the pool. I'll confirm this, of course, as soon as the nominations come out and Yahoo updates the system:

You have been invited to join dailydigest's Private Group in Yahoo! Movies Awards Challenge. In order to join the group, just go to, create a pick set and choose to Join a Private Group. Then, when prompted, enter the following information...

Group ID#: 2774 (DailyDigestPool)
Password: bluesky8

We will send you a confirmation with further details once you have completed the registration process.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 12:20 AM

Friday, January 23, 2004  


Wherein I invent a new theory ("the Posterity Principle vs. the Famewhore Principle"), list all the comparable Globe/Oscar winners going three years back, compare last year's predictions to the actual winners, and frequently hedge my bets ("Give me half a point if ROTK wins Best Song").

Damn, I was on fire last year. I think I did a hell of a lot better at the Globes than I did at the Oscars.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:18 PM


I had heard about this whole "Britney and Beyonce" (and who is that, Pink?) "are gladiators" thing, but... I had not seen it for myself until I hit Inky's blog, and... wasn't the time for this like four, five years ago?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:32 PM


Yahoo/Reuters: "LOS ANGELES - Acclaimed photographer Helmut Newton was killed in a car crash Friday, police said. He was 83.

Newton, a fashion photographer whose work appeared in magazines such as Playboy, Elle and Vogue, was best known for his stark, black-and-white nude photos.

Newton lost control of his Cadillac while leaving the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood and crashed into a wall across the street, said Officer April Harding, a police spokeswoman.

Before hitting the wall, the car brushed an Associated Press photographer who was arriving at the hotel on an unrelated assignment.

Newton was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he died a short time later, Harding said.

Newton, who was Jewish, fled Germany for Singapore in December 1938, a month after Nazi-led pogroms. He eventually settled in Australia and became a citizen, then took up residence in Monte Carlo."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 5:11 PM

Thursday, January 22, 2004  


E! Online: "Ben, Jen Over":

"Bennifer--the couple, the box-office tandem, the tabloid staple--is no more.

Some four months after nixing their lavish nuptials, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have split, her camp confirmed Thursday. 'Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck. At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy,' a spokesperson told E! News Live.

Affleck's rep declined comment. 'As usual, we never comment on our clients' personal lives,' Ken Sunshine said.

The breakup comes amid gossip-page speculation that Lopez has recoupled with ex-boyfriend Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs. Both Combs and Lopez have denied recycling their relationship.

The new Us Weekly pegs Tuesday as the exact day that Bennifer became undone. The magazine, due out Friday, described the split as mutual. But it also cited a source as saying Lopez, now sans her 6.1-carat engagement ring, 'was tired of waiting for [Affleck] to come around.' The 33-year-old Wedding Planner star was said to be anxious for marriage and a baby, while the 31-year-old Affleck was said to be not. "

Click the link for more, including the "unofficial" reasons they may have split. And then we will all pretend that none of this ever happened.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:41 PM


Yahoo: "LOS ANGELES - Ann Miller, the raven-haired, long-legged actress and dancer whose machine-gun taps won her stardom during the golden age of movie musicals, died Thursday of lung cancer. She was 81.

Miller died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, said Esme Chandlee, her longtime friend and former publicist. A onetime childhood dance prodigy, she reached the peak of her film career at MGM in the late 1940s and early '50s with 'On the Town,' 'Easter Parade' and 'Kiss Me Kate.' "

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:38 PM


This is less about the Oscar pool than the lead up to it--the Golden Globes are this weekend, and if anyone would like to try his/her hand at predictions, you can get full nominations here. It would probably be most efficient to post them on your own blog/ site/ journal and let me link to them in the Oscar section (which I'm refurbishing tonight). If you don't have anywhere to post yours, let me know, and we'll find a place for them. Leave a comment on this entry if you're interested.

Now, here's a harder task: the Oscar nominations are coming out Tuesday morning. I'm going to try to predict them, because I'm crazy like that. My suggestion, if you want to try, is to go to (link in the entry title above) and look over who's been getting awards/noms from the Producers Guild, Writers Guild, Screen Actors Guild, Globes, critics' circles, etc. The names that you see coming up again and again? That's what you look at.

As soon as Yahoo puts the Oscar pool system up again for this year, we'll get cracking. Good luck!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:13 PM


You have no idea how hard it is to keep this thing updated, given that the sequels/ prequels/ remakes/ "reimaginings" fly thick and fast every day. I'm sure I missed a few of the current horrors in production, but it's as up-to-date as I could get it. Hollywood's Track Record (i.e., the ones that got made) is also updated through mid-2003.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:42 PM


USAToday: "'When my grandmother knew what metrosexual meant, I realized how overexposed the term was,' says trend tracker Jon Hein, creator of

Hein says that despite Queer Eye's consistently high ratings, the show jumped the shark — that is, lost its witty novelty — with the unveiling of the theme song's music video last month. 'I'm sure you'll be seeing metrosexual breakfast cereals and action figures any day now,' Hein grumbles."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:18 AM


Nicole Kidman will play Ulla.

1. Wow, they must really think this movie's going to be huge--as huge as the stage show--if they've snaffled Kidman.

2. Hee. Hee hee hee hee hee.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:10 AM


...The Ring Font! AHHHHHH!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:34 AM

Wednesday, January 21, 2004  


Wow. Due to my computer deciding to be spontaneously smacktarded, that update took about two hours longer than it ever should have.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:26 PM


All right, I've asked around before, but since I know some of the blog readers are in the entertainment press themselves, I'm going to ask again: Can someone--and you can email me this privately, if necessary, cleolinda at me the links to studio press sites? I'm talking about sites like, New Line's site (which is now open to the public) or, Buena Vista's site, which I stumbled across myself. I'm not asking for the passwords; I submitted the Digest to Buena Vista for clearance myself and got it. Those two, NL and BV, I have. I'm just asking for front-page URLs so I can apply for the passwords myself. These things are impervious to search engines, and I don't know where else to go, so any leads would be appreciated.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:16 PM


And here's a sampling of the email I haven't answered, for reasons that will quickly become apparent--i.e., I have no flippin' idea. (Just a reminder: the column is called "Ask a Stupid Question." It doesn't mean your question is stupid. Well, not automatically, anyway...) If you do, please leave a comment below:

Comments = "Ok i want to know the name of this song that is on the radio now im not sure of the words but the end of the chorus goes something like this "Fuck you bitch and I don't want you back, o o uh huh yeah, o o uh huh yeah" naturally the swearing is not played on the radio but it's quite obvious that's what the man who sings the song is saying thank you in advanced"

Comments = "I'M DESPERATE!! I have been trying to get hold of the Donnie Darko soundtrack for months now. You see its not the original score soundtrack I want, its the one with all the fun eighties songs! Can anybody help me?!?!"

Comments = "Who is the GUY in the dentyne ice subway commercial?"

As for my Stupid Question the other day, snowking was kind enough to dig up a link explaining the sekrit ending of From Hell, which is, in a nutshell... exactly what they spelled out in the end of the movie. So... I'll just be over here making things harder than they are, and stuff.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:57 PM


Those of you who have dealt with me before know that I am not terribly good about answering email--I either reply within three seconds, or I take two months. Mostly because I am an awful person and I suck, and it doesn't help that I took several weeks off the site at the end of 2003. So I'm going through my backlog of mail yesterday and today and trying to rectify the situation.

Along the way, I've talked to classmates who have mentioned professor emails that I never got. It's entirely possible--nay, likely--that my inbox filled up and Hotmail bounced emails back. If by "back" you mean "with no notification to sender or recipient." So if you haven't gotten a reply from me, and don't get one today, either, it means I never got your email in the first place. I've gotten my inbox down to the low, low level of 75% full (as opposed to its usual 89-and-a-prayer%), so please try to email me again if there's something you'd like to say/ask/mention and you're not completely disgusted with me as it is.

P.S. That includes link exchanges. It'll take me a while to code them, since I've got three blogs and a site to put your link on, but that's on the to-do list as well.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:51 PM

Tuesday, January 20, 2004  


... from Peter Pan, which I saw yesterday, because it is teh pretteh.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:28 PM


USAToday has an interesting article up about the swath of fantasy movies coming up, including Lemony Snicket (December 17, yay!), The Elric Saga, The Chronicles of Narnia, Artemis Fowl (all right... I'm gonna have to read these books now), Eragon, and His Dark Materials (yay!).

There are a few really bizarre statements in the article--Chris and Paul Weitz, the American Pie brothers, say that The Elric Saga is "to Lord of the Rings what The Matrix is to Star Wars." What does that even mean? And then this, in the article itself:

"Besides, it wasn't too long ago — the 1980s to be exact — that such lackluster wizardry as Legend, The Dark Crystal and Willow caused the fantasy genre to go into extended hibernation."

HEY NOW--The Dark Crystal is one of the best fantasy movies ever made. And Legend is sort of cult-movie awesome, and approaches regular awesome in the original version they just put out on DVD. Willow, well... you're on your own with that one.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:56 AM

Monday, January 19, 2004  


Hey, I actually remembered to mention it this time. Also, there were just a few comments I wanted to make about some of the "Other News" items. Like "Ashton Baffled by Media Attention." What are you, new? And "Jackson Denied Child Molestation Under Hypnosis – Says Gellar [sic]." Oh, well, then, if Uri Geller says so, let's set the man free! Oh, and I have totally stopped reading anything about Sean Astin because, God bless him, if he mentions his fat one more time I will be forced to set him on fire. Just wanted to say.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:21 PM


Man, I am such a space cadet--I took such a long break that I keep forgetting to blog updates and things. Anyway, Ria (malenky_devil on LJ/FT) has sent in a lovely Big Fish review.

In case I have forgotten to mention this, too, we need reviews. From anybody, on anything. Well, not anything--I don't really want to know how many stars you'd give to the toast you had this morning. But movies, old movies, new movies, DVDs, books that were made into movies, books that will be made into movies, and movie soundtracks are all up for grabs. If it can conceivably be related to a movie or movies, I will post the review.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:04 AM


These are the British Oscars, basically, if you're not familiar with them, although I did get to see the show last year (I can't remember who ran it--E!? BBC America? Bravo?) and it's a lot more low-key. A lot more. Like, Stephen Fry emcee'd and basically told some self- and British-deprecating jokes, they recited nominees, and they named winners. Speeches were made. Fin. No Cirque du Soleil or interpretive dance or any of that. Which may be a good or a bad thing, depending on your outlook. Here's the big categories; click the link to see the rest at Oscar Watch.

Best film
Big Fish
Cold Mountain
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lost in Translation
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Best British film
(Alexander Korda award for the outstanding British film of the year) Cold Mountain
Girl with a Pearl Earring
In This World
Love Actually
Touching the Void

Best director
(David Lean award for achievement in direction)
Tim Burton - Big Fish
Anthony Minghella - Cold Mountain
Peter Jackson - The Return of the King
Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation
Peter Weir - Master and Commander

Best actor in a leading role
Benicio Del Toro - 21 Grams
Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Jude Law - Cold Mountain
Sean Penn - Mystic River
Sean Penn - 21 Grams

Best actress in a leading role
Anne Reid - The Mother
Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
Scarlett Johansson - Girl with a Pearl Earring
Scarlett Johansson - Lost in Translation
Uma Thurman - Kill Bill Vol. 1

Best actor in a supporting role
Albert Finney - Big Fish
Bill Nighy - Love Actually
Sir Ian McKellen - The Return of the King
Paul Bettany - Master and Commander
Tim Robbins - Mystic River

Best actress in a supporting role
Emma Thompson - Love Actually
Holly Hunter - Thirteen
Judy Parfitt - Girl with a Pearl Earring
Laura Linney - Mystic River
Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:46 AM


In case you've been wondering, I did finally raise the money to restore the comment functions (read: Vladimir now has sugar daddy privileges on the site. Let's hope he is a gentle despot), but Squawkbox says that it generally takes 24-48 hours for payment to go through and all that. So hold on until, let's say, Tuesday, and then maybe we can get chatty again.

Update: Comments are back!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:14 AM

Sunday, January 18, 2004  


All right, in case I didn't get all the folks with Livejournals (or those who are thinking about getting one, and remember, you don't have to have a code anymore, so jump on in, the water's fine), I'm going to post here as well: someone has come up with the brilliant idea to create an "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know"-type community. I would highly encourage everyone to join, if only because I have a backlog of Stupid Questions from readers I want to ask. Come on, you know you want to show off.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:10 PM


Please. I am begging you. Take the second "the" off, or I will be forced to think "TEH P4SS10N OF T3H CHR1St!!!!1! OMGWTFJOHN3:16!" every time I see the title. I'm sorry! I can't help it!

Also: Latino Review has the new poster.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:06 PM


All right. I finally got around to reading the graphic novel--I'd wanted to since I read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and I think I was one of three people who actually liked the From Hell movie. And thank God I saw it before I read the book, because I would have loathed it otherwise, Johnny Depp or no.

I'm probably going to write up a review--we do book reviews from time to time, and I've been trying from the Digest's inception to include reviews of not just movies but media related to them. But here's my question, and I KNOW someone out there knows this:

Chapter fourteen. Page twenty-three. What the hell? And no, "Mary Kelly was also nicknamed 'Ginger' and 'Fair Emma'" does NOT help me, because I am dense.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:45 PM


Coming Soon: "Meanwhile, [director Mike] Newell [Four Weddings and a Funeral, Donnie Brasco, Pushing Tin, Mona Lisa Smile] has been chatting with The Sunday Mail about the fourth film for which he says Warner Bros. will have to pull out its big wallet. 'I think of myself as being really lucky. I'm going to make the most expensive film there has ever been. [My note: This is NOT something a studio wants to hear trip out of a director's mouth.] These things are not like ordinary films they are world events.'

Newell said the job of directing a Harry Potter film carries huge responsibilities. 'I have millions of 10-year-olds who must not be disappointed. Making Harry Potter is like being President of Brazil. It is a colossal undertaking.'

He adds that finding an 8 ft tall French woman to play Hagrid's love interest, Madame Maxime, is giving him a major headache. 'We are casting right now. I've been in Paris, looking for giant women and French schoolgirls.'"

But who are you looking to put in the cast? (Ba-dum-bum!)

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:02 AM


Oh, Alan Cumming, you are better than this. Also: You think that axe is big enough?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:57 AM


Another email alert from Oscar Watch: "The PGA winner... is The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Oscar [nominating] ballots were cast by 5 p.m. Saturday and with this award, nothing can stop

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:53 AM

Saturday, January 17, 2004  


Five new pictures (small, actually) from the LA Times. Pumpkins?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:09 AM


So. Michael Jackson pleads not guilty. The court asks him to get there early, so he gets there late. As he leaves, he gets on top of an SUV and dances. And then: "Jackson was soon back at his Neverland Ranch, about 25 miles away, where fans flocked after receiving invitations distributed by supporters who appeared to be members of the Nation of Islam. About 1,000 people, many of them families with little children, took him up on the invitation, forming a line of hundreds of cars on the two-lane country road outside. Rides were open to all, ice cream, popcorn and drinks were provided, and Jackson's family gathered in the house for a luncheon. "

Can you imagine OJ Simpson doing this? "Hey everybody! Thanks for turning out to see me declare my innocence! Hey, blondie, wanna come look at my knife collection?"

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:57 AM

Friday, January 16, 2004  


Aight, the Quicktime link's on Trailer Park, and the screen caps are on the site proper. Nice, big, clear caps, too, and very lightweight.

Update: Wow, we got hammered even quicker than I thought we would. I've switched over to a more stable image host, so try the caps page again if you had problems earlier, or go straight to the Photo Bucket gallery.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:10 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2004  


The first thing I want to say is, as an American, I support Sean Penn's right to say whatever he thinks. As an Oscar watcher, I would like to note that this is exactly the kind of thing that will keep the Academy from voting for him, for fear that he'll use the podium as a soapbox on Oscar night:

IMDB: "A Preview of Penn's Oscar Acceptance Speech?"

"Sean Penn, whom many critics believe to be the frontrunner for a best-actor Oscar this year for his performance in Mystic River, has written a lengthy article for the San Francisco Chronicle about life in Iraq after his return to the country last month. The article, which could provide a hint of what Penn might say during an acceptance speech if he should win, excoriates U.S. policy. 'Many Iraqis I speak to tell me there is no freedom in occupation, nor trust in unilateral intervention,' he writes in the article, which appears in today's (Thursday) editions. 'For the people and children of Baghdad and the coalition forces, the insurgents and the utter lawlessness of the streets are a constant and real threat.' "

Johnny Depp's Best Actor SAG nom is starting to look like a momentum-builder right now.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:54 PM


Heh. And I thought I was hot shit with "Scooby Doo 2: The Wrath of Khan." Go Garth.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:32 PM


Second story on the Latino Review front page--a few places for quick looks at the trailer, either screen caps or a few seconds of QT. I'm running late for class, so look for more when I get home and finish the update.

Update: I've got the links to the craptastic streaming Windows Media version on Trailer Park; I'll let you know when something I can actually SEE comes online.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:06 PM


Yahoo: "Uta Hagen, the actress whose brutal, braying performance of Martha in the original production of Edward Albee's 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?' galvanized Broadway in the 1960s, has died. She was 84.

The actress was a versatile performer, at home not only in Shakespeare, Chekhov and Shaw, but in plays by Albee, Clifford Odets and Tennessee Williams. Hagen also was a dedicated acting teacher, writing a well-regarded acting textbook and operating the HB Studio for decades with her husband, Herbert Berghof.

Hagen made few movies, the best known being The Other (1972), The Boys From Brazil (1978) and Reversal of Fortune (1990), and when Virginia Woolf was filmed, the roles of Martha and George went to Elizabeth Taylor (news) and Richard Burton (news). Her real passion was the stage."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 12:10 PM


Coming Soon has news on the trailer--you'll be able to catch it tonight on Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight. You will--but I won't, because I'll be in a stinking seminar on the literature of antebellum reform. Reform this, man...

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:26 AM


Disney's just put a third trailer out.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:20 AM


Just got this email from Oscar Watch:

Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean
Peter Dinklage, The Station Agent
Ben Kingsley, House of Sand and Fog
Bill Murray, Lost in Translation
Sean Penn, Mystic River

Patricia Clarkson, Station Agent
Diane Keaton, Something's Gotta Give
Charlize Theron, Monster
Naomi Watts, 21 Grams
Evan Rachel Wood, Thirteen

Supporting Actor
Alec Baldwn, The Cooler
Chris Cooper, Seabiscuit
Benicio Del Toro, 21 Grams
Tim Robbins, Mystic River
Ken Watanabe, The Last Samurai

Supporting Actress
Maria Bello, The Cooler
Keisha Castle-Hughes, Whale Rider
Patricia Clarkson, Pieces of April
Holly Hunter, Thirteen
Renee Zellweger, Cold Mountain

In America
Mystic River
The Station Agent

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:47 AM

Wednesday, January 14, 2004  


Late-breaking news: the trailer's up. (Gahhh, this is why I wish IGN'd update sooner in the evenings.) Can Will Ferrell do any wrong at this point? I'm thinking probably not.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:51 PM


Almost forgot--tonight's update is up. I didn't mention last night's either, did I?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:10 PM


Yay! Hand Puppet Theater has updated!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:08 PM


If you've read the Philip Pullman books, go check these pictures from the London stage production out--they're amazing. It looks a little like what they did with The Lion King on Broadway. (Thanks to Susanne/cellardoor28 on LJ.)

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:26 PM


New poster. The whole idea of making this into a movie is so, so dumb, and yet... I get a weird "This is totally going to work, somehow" vibe off it.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:55 PM


Have you heard about this guy? Damn. Passed off Tequila Mockingbird entries as his own and then had the balls to threaten to sue the blogger, Julia, for "defamation of character" when she filed complaints. Click the link for more at my journal.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 1:15 PM


Coming Soon has three new pictures. I'm not even a Gwyneth Paltrow fan, but I like the '40s serial/pulp-fic style she has going here.

Update: You can get four desktops of these pictures at the official site,

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:35 AM


Really, is there anything else I can say?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:29 AM


This is the most awesomest icon evar. I thought you would like to know.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:12 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004  


Something is very wrong with a man who puts American Splendor as his number one of 2003... and The Hunted as his number two.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:30 PM


Yahoo: "Actor-writer Spalding Gray has been reported missing, police said. Police in New York City and in Southampton, N.Y., where the actor keeps his primary home, were searching for the actor. No further details were immediately available and the investigation was ongoing early Tuesday, said Sgt. Michael Wysokowski, an NYPD spokesman. Gray's disappearance was reported Sunday, according to a story in Tuesday editions of the New York Times. Gray, perhaps best known for writing and appearing in the autobiographical film Swimming to Cambodia (1987), had a history of depression and had tried to commit suicide in 2002, the Times reported."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:54 AM


For those of you keeping up with box office numbers, it seems that Sony really was "too aggressive" in reporting numbers for Big Fish--Return of the King is still number one.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:57 AM

Sunday, January 11, 2004  


And, once again, it's time for the Pants Game (fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British meaning--underwear--is a lot funnier):

Frodo: I need you in my pants.
Sam: I'm in your pants, Mr Frodo.
Frodo: I know you are, Sam.

Aragorn: Gondor calls for pants!
Theoden: And Rohan will answer!

Legolas: The pants are restless, the men are quiet.

And from snowking:

Theoden: Pants!
Rohirrim: Paaants!
Theoden: PAAANTS!
Rohirrim: PAAANTS!
Merry and Eowyn: PAAAAAAANTS!

Now accepting contributions in the comments section! Remember to leave your name if you don't have/don't want to sign up for a Livejournal!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:35 PM


Woke up to an email from Oscarwatch:

Best Picture: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Best Director: Peter Jackson, Lord of the Rings
Ensemble: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Foreign Film: The Barbarian Invasions
Best Actor: Sean Penn, Mystic River
Actress: Charlize Theron
Supporting Actor: Tim Robbins, Mystic River
Supporting Actress - Renee Zellweger, Cold Mountain
Child Actor: Keisha Castle-Hughes, Whale Rider
Documentary: Capturing the Friedmans
Song: A Mighty Wind
Score: Howard Shore, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Screenplay - Jim Sheridan, In America

If buzz/heat/whatever continues as it has been, I would not be surprised to see a lot of these winners, particularly some of the acting awards, duplicated at the Oscars.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:30 AM

Friday, January 09, 2004  


All right, this is just silly.

...You think "Friar Carl" is gonna get his own doll?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:59 PM


I am completely sick of this movie. The only movie I could be more sick of is Superman, because I am tired of this back-and-forth yeh-yeh: Is Guy Pearce in it? Yes! No! Yes! No! Maybe! We don't know! Yes! No! No, totally not! No, five other guys are up for it! Yes! No! Is Christian Bale in it? Yes! No! Yes! No! Maybe! We don't know! Yes! No! No, totally not! No, five other guys are up for it! Yes! No! Is the Scarecrow the villain? Yes! No! Yes! No! Maybe! We don't know! Yes! No! No, totally not! No, five other guys are up for it! Yes! No! Is Viggo Mortensen in it? Yes! No! Yes! No! Maybe! We don't know! Yes! No! No, totally not! No, five other guys are up for it OH MY GOD EVERYONE SHUT UP RIGHT NOW.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:48 PM


I don't even believe this one. Zap2It: "The King of Pop stars in the upcoming comedy Miss Cast Away, according to the AP. 'Miss' centers on a group of beauty pageant contestants who become stranded on a deserted island and discover Noah's Ark. Jackson will offer wisdom in the form of a beam of light sent by the pope."

There's a joke about things that Jackson and Catholic priests have in common, but decency prevents me from elaborating.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:56 PM


Sender: CultZero

Subject: Have some Kool-Aid!!!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 3:01 PM


I ganked this off Neil Gaiman's journal, because 1) Something Awful holds a special place in my heart and 2) it's hilarious.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:16 AM


IMDB: "Tom Cruise: Psychiatry Should Be Outlawed"

"Movie superstar Tom Cruise has hit out at Hollywood's therapy culture, insisting the practice of psychiatry is a 'waste of time' and should be made illegal. While many American stars admit attending regular sessions with probing therapists, Cruise follows the line of thinking adopted by his religion, the controversial Church Of Scientology, and refuses to accept psychiatry as a legitimate form of self-improvement. The actor, 41, says, 'I think it's an utter waste of time. There's nothing scientific about it. 'Communication is a good thing but I think people get more mentally out of having a good meal or going for a walk. 'I think psychiatry should be outlawed. I can't believe electric shock therapy is still used. I think it definitely does more harm than good.' "

Because talking to a cognitive/behavioral therapist and getting electric shocks are totally the same thing. All psychiatry is bad! Bad, I tell you!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:41 AM

Thursday, January 08, 2004  


Magically, I seem to have resolved most of the LJ feed problems (except for a @#$% Microsoft Word smart tag that won't go away), so this thing may work after all. Anyway, lots of pictures, and--I've never read the Earthsea books, but it looks like they're making movies out of them. Is this a big thing?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:56 PM


These are the most awesome LJ icons ever. See a previous installment here.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:13 PM


How's that, again?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:54 PM


I still have a few syntactical bugs to work out, and I'll probably experiment with the format a bit, but yes, you can now friend LJ user dailydigest and get the entire night's news on your friends page. Each section is behind its own LJ cut, because, quite frankly, most updates run 5-7 pages typed, and I'm not inflicting that on the community. LiveJournals no longer require codes to sign up, by the way, so if you want one, they're free for the taking.

I have class tonight, but it ought to run short (first night, ice on roads, etc.), and I ought to be able to get another update up.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:37 PM


They actually ran the alert while I was watching Days of Our Lives--shut up, man--earlier today. But this one sounds particularly bad--four people dead and three girls missing. If you're in the Georgia-Alabama area, keep a lookout for this guy:

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:29 PM


Lord knows I need this link as much as, if not more so, than the rest of y'all, but since we have a short Oscar season this year, there's no better time to check out the calendar of award events. Of particular note:

January 15: Screen Actors' Guild nominations
January 17: Oscar nom ballots due in
January 19: BAFTA noms ("British Oscars")
January 25: Golden Globes
January 27: Oscar noms
February 15: BAFTA awards
February 22: SAG awards
February 24: Oscar ballots due in
February 29: Oscar ceremony

A few things to take into consideration:

Oscar nom ballots are due in before the Globes ceremony. This means that, for the first time in recent Oscar history, the Globes can have no effect on the Oscar nominations. Keep that in mind if you try to predict the nominations. Similarly, if you're watching the court of public opinion--which sank Russell Crowe last year, for example--keep in mind that nominees can be as asshattish as they want after February 24, once the ballots are in. (Sean Penn, I'm looking at you.)

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:25 PM


The return of both of 'em, actually. Coming Soon: "The first film's director Martin Campbell and stars Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Anthony Hopkins will be back.

[The scooper says:] I have it on good authority from a worker at Sony Studios that Zorro 2 will be titled 'The Return of Zorro' which director Martin Campbell is working hard on at the moment with the screenwriters on pre-production, ready for a April 2004 production start in Mexico.

Banderas recently said that 'The script is fantastic. Way better than the first one. Everyone will be back.' Explaining how Hopkins' character Don Diego will appear, he added that the film "has a supernatural element. He has a lot more to tell me.'"

Great. Don Obi-Wan. Good job.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:36 AM


I'm reproducing the entire NY Post article because it'll be gone by tomorrow:

"January 8, 2004 -- CINDY Crawford went barefoot, Gwen Stefani did pink and Martha Stewart's daughter Alexis wore a gray pinstripe suit. But Britney Spears broke every wedding rule in the book, by wearing ripped jeans with a leg garter, and a slinky long-sleeve shirt when she married Jason Allen Alexander last Sunday morning. We re-created the pop tart's wedding look for $101.34 with a few pit stops at H&M, Ricky's, Patricia Field and Claire's Boutique. But this off-the-beaten-bridal-path look won't catch on - and shouldn't, predict stylemongers.

'It's just not appropriate,' says Robert Verdi, host of 'Full Frontal Fashion.' 'You don't wear a bikini to a wake. I don't think that sort of shotgun, impromptu, unplanned wedding would command any new redirection of what we think of as a traditional wedding garment.'

A star of Spears' stature could have gone to Caesar's Palace or the Bellagio - and had them open one of their couture boutiques at the last minute. 'Let's face it. It's Vegas,' says stylist to the stars Philip Bloch. 'Couldn't she have called Badgley Mischka or something? I mean, she's probably got Donatella on speed dial.' Bloch says Spears should have at least worn 'all white,' such as a simple pair of white pants instead of the jeans. Perhaps she's trying to outdo Jessica Simpson and have a new show called 'Newly Divorced,'he jokes. 'Not even people from trailer parks in Arkansas or the Appalachians would wear torn Levi's for their wedding.'

It cracks me up, because I don't think people can get through their heads what happened. Britney didn't say to herself, "You know, I think today's a great day to get married and start a new life! What shall I wear?" She was shitfaced. In Vegas. Land of the Chapel of the Holy Drunken Impulse. It happens, y'all.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:52 AM


Oh God! They're really using that awful suit! They're really using it!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:23 AM


Dark Horizons: "There's no link or mention of the previous film's events, this not only ignores them completely but restarts the franchise as its essentially an 'origin' movie which changes elements such as the 'parents being shot' and 'how Bruce found the cave and took up the mantle' subplots."

Awww, man! Isn't it a little soon to start doing complete remakes?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:20 AM


Oooo, wallpaper.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:14 AM


...And it looks like they've chosen American Splendor for their best picture, with Lost in Translation as a runner-up. Which is nice and intelligent and all, but doesn't help those of us with an eye on the Oscar Pool much. In fact, the most interesting part may be that they gave best actress to Naomi Watts (21 Grams) with Charlize Theron (Monster) only as the runner-up.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 12:25 AM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004  


TORN: "Bloom & Mortensen on 'Hotties' List"

Eowyn writes: Viggo Mortensen is #10 on VH1's 100 Hottest Hotties list! The show will air on Friday January 9 on VH1, at 10 pm EST. By the way Orlando Bloom was also on the countdown at #76, and that show will probably be repeated over the course of this week.

1. Well, that's not something you're going to see everyday--Orlando Bloom ranked under one of his costars in a hotness contest.

2. Figures that someone by the name of "Eowyn" would send this in.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:53 PM


It's up. No, I can't believe it either.

As for the LiveJournal feed idea--it's pretty nifty, but I'm still working on the formatting. (It's the LJ cuts. That's totally what the problem is. And stupid Rich Text editor is reading an opening quotation mark as a closing mark. Grrrr.) But once we've got the format in place, it's just cookie-cutter updates from then on out. Woohoo!

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:18 PM


I don't know how much she looks like Katharine Hepburn, but the look on her face cracks me up.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:07 PM


Kate Hudson's had a boy: "Ryder Russell Robinson was born Wednesday in Los Angeles, weighing in at 8 pounds, 11 ounces." Damn. I had money on "Rainskye Patchouli Hudson-Robinson," myself.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:27 PM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004  


My boys have kept up with the trailer reviews over at the Park, so take a gander over there. I'm about to take my computer apart and install some more memory, but as soon as I do that, I'll review the new Stepford Wives trailer.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:38 AM



posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:30 AM


Consider them the official Digest update for last night, because I spent yesterday evening sitting out in the subfreezing cold like a moron.

Don't forget to check out the Eric Awards at ...of charm and strange while you're at it.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:23 AM

Monday, January 05, 2004  


Coming Soon: "The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today announced the seven films being considered for Achievement in Sound Editing for the 76th Academy Awards. The films in consideration are listed below in alphabetical order:

- Finding Nemo
- Kill Bill: Vol. 1
- The Last Samurai
- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
- Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
- Seabiscuit

Ten-minute clip reels from each of the seven films will be screened for the Sound Editing Award Committee on January 20. The members will then vote on these films for Oscar consideration. The outcome of this vote will result in the following options: 1) if two or three productions receive the required votes they will become the nominated films in the Sound Editing category; 2) if only one film receives the required votes it will be recommended to the Academy Board of Governors for a Special Achievement Award; or 3) if no film achieves the required votes, no award for 2003 will be given in the category."

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 9:22 PM


There are spoilers in the toys! There are spoilers in the toys! Well, not if you've read the books or anything, but...

Also: Lego Sirius is not a very good likeness.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 2:41 PM


In short, the Producer's Guild Nominations (the winner frequently takes Best Picture at the Oscars):

Cold Mountain (Miramax Films)

The Last Samurai (Warner Bros.)

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (New Line Cinema)

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Twentieth Century Fox)

Mystic River (Warner Bros.)

Seabiscuit (Universal Pictures)

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 11:21 AM

Sunday, January 04, 2004  


Oh, even better! It's "a joke that went too far, and she's already getting an annulment"!

As quoted in LJ's Metaquotes community: "All I can say is, thank God she's heterosexual, otherwise this whole event might have undermined the sanctity and importance of the institution of marriage!"

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 10:33 AM


Britney Spears got married last night? What?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:23 AM

Saturday, January 03, 2004  


Five hours. That's the number we're hearing right now. Oh, and a 12-hour trilogy screening. You'll need to get in line for tickets... now.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:16 PM